Like the Irish rugby and soccer teams over the last few weeks, the hype surrounding what goes on television continues unabated for one particular event. Have you seen the spot ads on TV? the occasional and select public appearances? the newspaper articles appraising the timing of the intervention? No? you must be soooo out of touch.
I am writing of course about South Dublin bad boy and all-around sayer of doom, David McEconomist. You see David’s got a new book called the Generation Game, and like the 1970s TV game show of the same name, is promoted across ‘media platforms’ to within 2.54 cm of its life. And there’s a cuddly toy too: David himself. David reckons that the 70% of the population he is interested in (white collar workers apparently in an interview in this last weekend’s Sunday Tribune) are being squeezed by a cruel twist of fortune based on property ownership. If you were born after 1970, says David in the newspaper, you are the victim of ‘an accident of birth’: you bought your house at the top of the market (I didn’t), you commute (don’t mind mine), you will end up in negative equity (what’s tha’ Gay?). McEconomist is a keen observer of the Irish populace. He cares
about the economy the way a gardener cares about nature. It should be nurtured like a garden, not over cultivated and then left to wither.
Please! If we want to get horticultural about the Irish economy, I can ask Gerry Daly. At least he’ll give me a measured analysis of the problem and a little evidence. We also learn that he was drummed out of the FCA, probably for characterising his superiors as Generation T-ers (it was the 1970s) and a bunch of Pre-Advancers but more than likely for having just been a poncey pupil of ‘Rock – one of south Dublin’s most exclusive fee schools. The FCA (now the Army Reserve) is hardly a place for a nice boy like McEconomist – it being full of JIFFYs and Dashboard Diners now making twice what he is.
At the risk of sounding like I have negatively fallen for the pre-publicity for his upcoming show, McEconomist is dangerously over-exposed in a country that is looking for something other than Maddy McCann to witter about over coffee. Quite the contrary, Ireland probably needs a good dose of McDreamy, I mean McEconomist, like a property market crash. Every bit the over-qualified proctologist, the boy genius is going to be probing our financial mess over the coming weeks, probably with lots of those shots where he’s moving at regular speed but those around him in Newbridge shopping centre are moving very quickly and all blurred.
He characterises himself as a Bono-Boomer and dislikes Redundant Radicals (who, unlike him, “launch broadsides at fictitious enemies” from their comfortable red-bricks). I am sure his parents are very proud of their little boy for having studied very hard in the Leaving Cert and never once mitching French. David’s analysis is a sham though – he’s a Cassandra of the soft right who likes to talk about property ownership while 5% of the population don’t need to care about because they are stinking rich and 15% don’t care about it because they rent and / or are too poor. I don’t mind the man writing books but please don’t make out as if your knowledge of capitalism has the power to drag us out of our financial mess. Most people are just getting by and his analysis is just chewing gum.
Anyway….since when do we care if Wayne Rooney’s grandmother thinks that Wayne is Irish? An ugly and overpaid footballer helping us to compete with China in the coming years? Don’t worry, John O’Shea fits that particular bill already.
What’s a JIFFY? They’re the ones who come back from Santa Ponza and leave the airport saying ‘Jaysus, it’s Fuckin’ Freezin”. Aren’t the working classes a delight? quoth little Dave. He’ll be signing books in Blanchardstown (does this man know his audience) all week.